Ep. 103: Relationship 101: Purpose — 3 Steps That Get You Engaged Faster

You don’t need a complicated plan to build a relationship that actually leads to marriage—you need purpose. In today’s finale of Relationship 101, I share the simple framework my clients use to go from “this is good” to “we’re engaged” in months, not years. If you’re ready to stop drifting and start moving, this episode is your map.

At the end, I’ll show you exactly where to meet marriage-minded men, how to write a profile that attracts the right one (and repels the wrong ones), and how to create pure, magnetic chemistry—so you can move from texting to commitment with confidence. 

I help Christian women get married. If your heart’s beating faster, apply for private mentorship. Link below.

https://www.thechristiandatingcoach.com/apply

Let’s get you married, sis.

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:25)
Hey, hey, sis. Today, I want to do the final episode of the Relationship 101 series. Today, we are going to talk about purpose. And I wanna make this very clear. If you want a relationship with purpose, one that moves toward marriage in a healthy, timely way, there are three things you must do.

do. It's simple, not always easy, but extremely straightforward. And if you do these things, your relationship will have direction and intention. It will either move forward towards marriage or it will end quickly and peacefully because clarity makes decisions obvious.

Most of my clients, they meet their guy, they're committed within weeks, engaged within six months, married within a year. Sometimes that timeline is even faster. So if you follow these three things, you won't drift, you won't wonder, you'll know exactly where your relationship is going and how to get to the end that you desire. Okay.

Step one, own your emotions and confidence.

You want a relationship with purpose, yeah? That is non-negotiable. Here's the thing, your emotions are your responsibility. Your confidence is your job. It's not your boyfriend's job to make you feel secure. It's not your husband's job or your future husband's job or anyone's job to make you feel beautiful and worthy. That's between you and the Lord.

Because if you don't manage your emotions, you will misread everything. You'll create conflict that doesn't exist. You'll sabotage connection because you're reacting from insecurity instead of responding, knowing your value. When you take responsibility for your emotions, you don't explode over small things.

You can listen instead of defending yourself and you'll be able to evaluate a man's actions accurately, not through insecurity. Healthy men are attracted to women who can regulate their emotions, communicate with honor and respect while still expressing their needs without chaos. So that's your

first step. You own your own feelings. You build your confidence from what you have within yourself. You bring emotional stability into the relationship so that it can actually grow.

Step two, be clear. Clear about what you want and when you want it. Purpose requires clarity. You've got to know what you want and you've got to be brave enough to say it. Remember what I keep saying, mind reading isn't love. And if you're 38 or 33 or 35 or 45 and you know you want marriage,

and children, you don't have time to date for two years just to figure it out. You don't have time to be afraid to say, hey, I want to be married. I want to have kids. Do you want that too? And do you want that in this season of your life, not in five years? That's not desperate. That's called leadership of your own life.

my clients, didn't stumble accidentally into engagement in six months. They were simply clear, clear on their standards, clear on their values, clear on their timeline. Caleb told me, love you on our third phone call. We defined the relationship within three weeks.

And that is not unusual for couples who are healthy and ready for marriage. When two people know themselves and know what they want, things move fast. Not because it's rushed, but because it's right. You don't have to wait until date number six to talk about God and marriage and kids. If you're still saying, well, it's too soon to talk about that,

That is not wisdom. That is fear and fear will waste your time Clarity is kind clarity is love clarity is purpose step number three be realistic not Just romantic this one might surprise you because yes, I'm all about the chemistry

Have chemistry, enjoy the romance, feel the butterflies, but don't get lost in them. Being purposeful means you evaluate reality, not fantasy. Realistic sounds like he didn't text good morning, but he called the mechanic and got my car serviced. Realistic sounds like he hasn't gone ring shopping yet, but he's picking up extra shifts to save for an apartment.

Realistic sounds like he's not whisking me away to Paris this weekend, but he's studying for his certification exam to build the future. Do you hear that? Do you hear the wisdom and the groundedness in those thoughts? Realistic also means patience. For Caleb and me, we were talking about marriage after a few weeks, but

He said something very logical. We're not getting engaged until we're living in the same time zone. Was that romantic? No, definitely not romantic and certainly not romantic to me. But was it realistic? Yes. And if I had been stuck in some Hollywood romance novel fairy tale, I would have created drama instead of choosing the wisdom of the man that I wanted to marry.

So don't punish a good man for being practical. Sometimes purpose looks like patience. Sometimes romance looks like responsibility.

So let's put it together. A relationship of purpose requires emotional ownership. I manage me. Bold clarity. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to say it. And realistic wisdom. I choose truth over fantasy and I am

grounded. Do those and your relationship will either move toward marriage or you'll have the clarity to walk away quickly and peacefully. Both are a win. This whole series, Relationship 101, was for women who already have someone in their life and they want to make sure they don't lose something good. But I know some of you listening

aren't even there yet. You might be asking, where do I actually meet godly, marriage-minded men in real life? Or you might be asking yourselves, what should I say in my dating profile to attract a high caliber, quality man and repel the wrong ones? Or how do I flirt in a way that sparks chemistry

but still is modest and pure? Or how do I go from texting to commitment and commitment to engagement? These aren't random questions. These are the exact things I teach my clients inside my mentorship, step by step. I know the answers to these questions. This is my world. I help Christian women get married. And when they step into mentorship, things move fast.

Right now, four of my seven current clients are in love with godly, amazing men and likely to be engaged or married by New Year's. Not because of luck, but because of clarity and purpose. So if your heart is beating faster right now, take that as your sign. Apply for mentorship. The link is in the show notes. Don't just pray and wait. Pray and take purposeful action.