Ep. 101: Relationship 101: Pleasure — Holy Sizzle That Leads to Marriage

High-caliber, godly men are all around you.
 If they’re not proposing, it’s because you don’t know this secret: they want to feel pleasure — holy pleasure.

Do you feel like pleasure is off-limits as a Christian woman? Well, it’s not.

In this episode, Michelle Joiner shows faith-filled, ambitious women how to cultivate holy sizzle — the chemistry, warmth, and joy that make a man feel admired, respected, and safe to pursue you.

If you’re ready to stop being the woman men date and start being the woman they commit to and marry, this episode will open your eyes to what’s possible.

💍 Inside Kingdom Bride Unlocked, Michelle helps women learn how to communicate like queens, attract godly men, and move from waiting to walking in covenant love.

👉 Click here to book your consult call today and discover the holy pleasure that leads to commitment.

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey, sis, this podcast episode is for the high achieving, faith-filled woman who's done everything in life right you're ambitious, spirit-led, and you refuse to settle, but your heart is ready to call in your king. Let me tell you something most

women don't realize high caliber, godly, amazing men want to feel something before they commit, especially before they commit to marriage.

They don't just want good conversation or friendly companionship. They want to feel pleasure. They want to feel chemistry. They want to feel like a man. They want to feel that pull of excitement, that spark that says, woman sees me, admires me, and delights in me.

If you've been meeting the rare godsend of meeting a high quality man, but they're not committing to you, it's usually because this is missing. You might think you can't have pleasure in a relationship before marriage, not as a Christian. You'd be wrong, my sister.

Not only can you, you must. Because relationships without pleasure don't lead to marriages, at least not to happy ones. Today, I'm going to show you how to create this, the kind of pleasure that honors God and draws a high caliber man closer to you and to making a lifelong

commitment to you. This podcast will open your eyes, but sis, it's not going to transform your dating life on its own. I go deep into this inside my Kingdom Bride Unlocked coaching program where Christian women learn how to communicate like queens, attract godly men,

and move from waiting to walking in covenant love. And if you're ready to stop being the woman men date and start being the woman men propose to, I want you to book a consult call today and come get mentored. All right, let's talk about pleasure. You have built a career, mastered independence and learned to.

hold it all together and you do it with style. But deep down, you're craving a connection that feels easy and safe and joyful. When I say pleasure, I'm not talking about crossing boundaries or testing the limits. I'm talking about

Actually, I'm talking about a feeling, feeling of delight and excitement and electricity and spark and sizzle and romance and chemistry. Pleasure is God's design. It's laughter that lingers after a great conversation or a joke that only you two share.

It's peace that feels like home. It's joy that reminds both of you. This is real good. Without pleasure, relationships do become dry and dutiful and very anxious. And relationships that are built that way typically are built on fear or performance and they don't lead

to happy marriages. They lead to exhausted marriages. The Bible says, she brings him good, not harm all the days of his life. That's your calling to be a source of pleasure, not a source of pressure.

To be a source of pleasure, you have to have a certain heart posture. You have to carry gentleness and kindness and respect. Listen, sis, you're strong. You're a strong woman, but you're also soft. And you do lead in so many areas of your life.

But in this area, we need to know when to lean in and let someone else lead the ship. It's speaking life into a man instead of correcting him. It's letting him feel your respect and admiration and gratitude, your joy in who he is.

And when a woman brings pleasure, she carries peace with playfulness. She flirts with purity, laughs easily, listens deeply and not selfishly. She can make a man feel seen without making him stumble. That is what I call holy sizzle. It's the Song of Solomon kind of energy charged.

sacred, restrained, but very real and very electric. Desire that honors God, attraction that points toward covenant. Song of Solomon says, do not awaken love before its time. But notice it doesn't say, don't feel it.

It doesn't say don't know that it exists. I want you to go back and read Song of Solomon and see the charged electricity between those two people. And yet they're told don't awaken love before it's time. But that doesn't mean that it's not there. This is what I call, I want you energy. It's there.

I want you, let's get married. That needs to be there. Keep the fire sacred, but don't deny that God created it. If you want a man to stay connected to you emotionally, spiritually, romantically, you must allow him to feel something and you've got to feel something to yourself, sis.

Here's something most women don't realize. Christian men, especially those saving sex for marriage, need to feel safe that their sexual needs won't be ignored after marriage. And when there's no I want you energy in dating, they don't feel safe. They don't feel like they can believe that will be the case when they get married. They feel like they're signing up for a lifetime of

Not being wanted, not being desired. And they can't do that. It's just not safe for them. Now, listen, there's a long way between I want you energy and anything close to having sex. I teach my clients to create that energy through subtle, sacred confidence. You do it with a saucy wink. You do it when you say

You don't know what your voice says to me. I love it when you call me on the phone. Yeah, you do it with a flame emoji. You do it when you tell him you look fine today. I mean, one of my favorite things is seeing my husband in a black shirt. So I will say to him, you look hot in that black shirt. You don't need to be immodest.

The slightest bit of electricity and tension creates, I want you energy. Every woman I coach learns to do this differently because every woman is different. I call it your Siren Voice, that magnetic blend of femininity and electricity and confidence that draws a man in without compromising your values.

Inside my program, I teach a Flirt Pure and King's Language, how to talk to men in a way that creates chemistry and connection. It's the art of being captivating while still staying consecrated. What I want you to hear is that this is a feeling. This is an energy. This isn't even necessarily anything physical.

and certainly not sex. my clients are saving sex for marriage. I did as well, but I did create and I want you energy within my relationship

Sis, you're not losing men because you're not beautiful or because you're not spiritual enough. You're losing them because you stop being a source of pleasure. You became difficult to enjoy complaining, exploding, demanding. Those patterns push love away. They make a man withdraw.

When you're always correcting or controlling, you stop being a delight. You become a duty. And men don't want to marry a duty. They fall in love with peace. So yes, communicate your needs, but do it with grace. Say, I love when you dot, dot instead of you never. Say, it means a lot to me when dot, dot, dot instead of you shit.

That shift keeps the pleasure alive.

And I'll tell you a little secret from my marriage. Sometimes you just let things go. Sometimes you just don't complain about something. Sometimes you see that he's had a hard day and you decide I'm just gonna take care of this on my own. And for me, it always, always helps in this part of your relationship to always

Think of the other person as more highly than yourself and also think of them as having the best intentions at heart. Let go of the complaining and start practicing more gratefulness.

If you're the woman who wants to attract a masculine, decisive man, you can't lead with resistance.

I call this being agreeable. Be the woman who says yes instead of always no. The woman who doesn't constantly change plans because, something came up and it's inconvenient. If he asks you to go out on Saturday and you usually meal prep on Saturdays, sis, move your meal prep. Just say yes. Don't be the woman who's

disappoints, who's always too tired, too busy, too rigid. Pleasure comes from being flexible, curious, and open to joy. You don't need to contort your boundaries, but you do need to stop living like your schedule is more sacred than connection.

Be the woman who says yes, not because you're desperate, but because you're delightful. I once told my client, it's like grandma. You know how grandma, she just always says yes, whatever you want. Sure, honey. ⁓ it feels so good. If you're the type of woman who is gentle and kind and creates electricity and he feels a spark around you and you're so agreeable and

You make him feel like every day is a yes day. I promise you sis, he will put a ring on it. Men fall for women who make joy easy. And when you say yes, you create momentum instead of stalling it. Men fall in love. They commit to women who makes moments feel

everything's possible for her.

Now to the women listening who say, Michelle, I am a source of pleasure. Men love hanging out with me. Yes, sis, but they're not marrying you. They're not committing because the pleasure I am talking about isn't entertainment. It's covenant pleasure.

Covenant pleasure makes a man feel respected and inspires him to be more godly, to protect you, to lead, to show up stronger. This isn't cotton candy fun for a night. This is holy pleasure. It's I just spent the evening with an amazing woman who made me feel amazing and now I want to rise up and be worthy of

That's the kind of pleasure that births commitment. If that's not the result you're getting,

you've been offering cotton candy pleasure. This is easily seen when we look at what the world does, right? The world offers pleasure without purpose, without commitment. The world offers, they will go as far as offering sex just so that they can have pleasure in their relationships. But as you can see, it doesn't lead to commitment and it certainly isn't holy.

The pleasure that I'm talking about is holy, inspirational, covenant building. It's what godly men say "I do" to and show up faithfully and sacrificially for.

Sis, listen, you're accomplished. You've done the healing work, the journaling, the prayer, and you're still single not because you're behind, but because God is refining your strategy.

I'm a coach and I can't coach through a podcast. I can only give you a glimpse of what's available to you, a glimpse of the transformation my clients experience in themselves and in their results. I call my program Kingdom Bride Unlocked for a reason. And it's for women who are ready to break free of the shackles

that have kept them stuck, sometimes for decades. Inside Kingdom Bride Unlocked, not only do I help you find and connect with high caliber godly men, I help you learn how to create chemistry communicate in a way that leads to commitment. If you're tired of being friend zoned, penpalling,

are perpetually dating, this is for you. So don't just listen, book your console call today. Let's build your marriage story on purpose because pleasure isn't a luxury. It's a spiritual strategy that's necessary. Every month you wait to learn this, another good man passes by, unable to recognize you.

And that delay costs more than you think because yes, sis, there are high caliber godly men all around you, but they're not able to hear you because you're not speaking in their language.

Sis, pleasure is not forbidden, it's divine. It's time to stop being afraid of your softness, stop apologizing for wanting connection. You're designed to bring good, not harm, to inspire, to draw out a man's strength through pleasure and peace and purpose.

And if this episode stirred something in you, share it with a friend who needs to hear it because kingdom women don't gatekeep wisdom and get ready because on Monday I'm releasing Relationship 101: Problems. We're going to talk about how to handle conflict with grace, how to let him know what your standards are and call him to rise up and be your king with grace instead of chaos.

And until then, remember, godly men don't fall for pressure, they fall for pleasure. Come get mentored and let's build your love story together, yeah? 

Let's get you married, sis.