Ep: 97 Your Thoughts Create Your Results — and Some Thoughts Will Keep You Single

What if the biggest thing keeping you single isn’t your circumstances… but your thoughts?

In this episode, Michelle breaks down the biblical and practical truth that your thoughts don’t just describe your life — they create it. You’ll learn how what you think determines how you feel, how you show up, and the kind of relationships you attract.

This isn’t just mindset work. It’s Romans 12:2 in action — renewing your mind so that transformation becomes inevitable. 💙

💌 Connect with Michelle:
If this episode hit home, email michelle@thechristiandatingcoach.com
— she loves hearing from listeners.

Ready to renew your mind, restore your confidence, and meet the man God’s been preparing for you?

Book your consultation call using this link: Consultation Call — The Christian Dating Coach

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey, Sis, have you ever heard the phrase, your thoughts create your results? If you have, maybe it sounded a little too life coachy or abstract, like something you'd see on a coffee mug. But what if it's actually one of the most biblical, practical and life changing truths?

you could ever understand. Because once you realize that your thoughts, not your circumstances, create your results, everything changes. Most people think it's their circumstances that make them feel the way they do. I am single, so I feel lonely. He didn't text me back, so I feel sad.

She got married, so I feel behind. But the truth is, it's not the circumstance that's causing your feelings. It's the thought you have about that circumstance. Two women can have the exact same experience and feel completely different about it. One may think,

there are no good men left. And she feels discouraged. Well, another woman would think God is building his church and he has faithful followers everywhere. And then she feels trusting and expectant. Both of these women have the same circumstance. I am single, but they're thinking different thoughts and having different feelings.

Proverbs 23, 7 says, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. In other words, how you think becomes who you are and how you experience life. Your thoughts are seeds and whatever you plant long enough,

you'll eventually see in your results. Isn't that what Jesus told us in the Gospels? Romans 12: 2 echoes this when it says be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Transformation doesn't begin with your actions. It begins with your thinking. Here's how it really plays out. This is the framework I teach my clients.

It's also the same model I was taught when I was certified as a life coach. Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings drive your actions. Your actions create your results.

I want you to think about when you're feeling motivated and determined and committed. For instance, let's say to lose weight or to run a 5k or a marathon. If you're feeling motivated and determined, you're going to go out there and you're going to practice and exercise and lift weights and those feelings will drive those actions of practice and

exercise and work and those actions are going to create a result of a successful race or successful weight loss. Whereas if you're feeling discouraged and depressed and defeated, you're going to take actions from those feelings and those actions will probably be to give up. And then from that action of giving up,

You're going to create the results of not losing the weight or gaining more or not having a successful race. Let me look at a more specific example when it comes to dating. Example number one, a thought such as men find me intimidating, a familiar thought, right? Well, if you believe this thought, it might feel true. Maybe someone said that to you once or twice.

or you've noticed some men don't approach you and your brain has piled on evidence that this thought is true. But think about the feeling that that thought creates. It often leads to superiority or defensiveness. You start thinking, well, that's their problem. And you begin almost without knowing it.

to show up with a little edge or guard. And what happens from those actions? You create the exact result that the thought dictated. Men do find you intimidating because your energy says you can't reach me. So the result proves the thought true, but only because you kept feeding the thought.

And I would like you to just reflect here. If you're having the thought, men find me intimidating, ask yourself the question, why? Because sometimes men find you intimidating because you are. You've created that result. It's not your job. It's your energy, your thoughts.

Let me give you another example, another familiar thought. There are no good men left. That thought sounds harmless and some people, it sounds true. But when you believe it, you stop looking for evidence of any good men. You ignore the kind grounded ones because your brain is convinced they don't exist.

And when we do that, we scroll past the guys who look wholesome. We decline the intro from our friend and we say no before there's even a reason to. And suddenly, it's not just that there are no good men left. It's that no man is ever good enough. And then the result matches

belief because you've trained your brain to confirm it. And that's the thing. This isn't an accusation. It's just awareness because the truth is we train our brains. We train them to be negative. And unfortunately, many people think that once they get married, they'll suddenly lose all those negative thought patterns. But Sis, that's just not true.

Circumstances don't create feelings, thoughts do. Your brain runs on neural pathways that get entrenched over time by repeated thought patterns, sometimes called cognitions, repeated cognitions, the sentences in our head. And if you want to experience true happiness and transformation, you've got to start laying new tracks.

with new thoughts, because when you think differently, you feel differently. And when you feel differently, you act differently. And that is when you create different results. One coach I know likes to say, your energy determines your impact. And it's true. You can't hide it. As scripture says,

As a man thinketh, so he is. Guys can sense it. The negative thoughts, the discouragement, the quiet defeat, the thought that the man in front of you isn't worth your time. It shows up in our posture, our tone, our energy. And our thoughts will always create our results. So if we're feeling hopeless,

will act passively. If we're feeling guarded, we'll close off. But if we're feeling confident, we'll invite connection. The way you think sets the tone for everything that happens next. You can't

take consistent positive action from a consistently negative mindset. That's why renewing your mind isn't just a spiritual command. It's a dating strategy. When you start to think differently, everything changes, your feelings, your actions, and your results. The good news is

You don't need perfect thoughts, just intentional ones. Because when you change the way you think about love, you change the way you experience love. and all those new beliefs start showing up as new results. That's what transformation looks like. That's how it's created.

not overnight, but over time, thought by thought, belief by belief.

Michelle Joiner (10:07)
When your thoughts change, your results change. And that's why my clients start meeting high quality men, feeling secure in relationships and walking into marriage with peace.

Michelle Joiner (10:22)
So what do you do? You might be asking, how do I change my thoughts? Well, Sis, you get coaching. You root out the negative thought patterns that are creating your negative results. You heal the pain behind those thought patterns.

And then you replace those thoughts with ones filled with hope and grace and truth. Maybe your old thought was, always mess things up with men. Or I always attract the wrong type of guy. Well, a new thought might be, I'm learning how to connect with wisdom, discernment, and peace.

Maybe your old thought was, it's too late for me. A new thought might be God's timing is perfect and I'm preparing for what he's preparing for me. You rehearse these new thoughts, you find evidence for them. And over time, you lay brand new neural pathways, literally changing the way your brain works. Sis.

This is how Olympians, powerful business leaders, everybody who has created amazing success, this is how they do it. They train their brains, they think on purpose, they don't dwell on defeat. Honestly, it's exactly what you need because it's not just optimism.

It's agreement with God's truth about who you are and what he's called you to experience. In a lot of ways, these negative thoughts are rooted in anger at God and Sis that will never serve you. So let's start walking down a different path.

Michelle Joiner (12:31)
Remember, your thoughts create your results in faith, in love, in life, and in marriage.

Michelle Joiner (12:42)
Well, this episode might have hit hard. Maybe it was new language you've never heard before. But if you've ever wondered how I help so many women grow their confidence and magnetize amazing godly men who want to marry them in mere months, this is how I help women change from the core outward.

It's so much more than dating app tweaks or first date tips. I offer something far more powerful and the results speak for themselves.

My clients don't just leave with tips that you could find on YouTube videos. They leave with transformation. And many meet the person they were meant to marry much faster than they ever thought possible.

If you're just looking for quick dating tricks, you're probably not the right client for my program. But if you're ready to be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you walk in peace, hope, and the wisdom to honor the Lord in a godly marriage, then I would be honored to be your coach.

And I would be honored to help you meet the man of God who's been looking to bless and be blessed by a woman like you. The link is in the show notes to book your consultation call. If you're that woman, I can't wait to meet you. Book your call today and let's get you married, Sis.